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Revenge of the Nerds

Monday, September 22, 2008

Are we there yet?!


No...unfortunately we, the University of Cincinnati, haven't even started yet. And when I say start, I'm referring to our 9 month, interactive, annoying jail sentence that is to be served...which is often called COLLEGE. When the weather goes from 85 degrees to 55 degrees in 6 hours, leaves begin to fall, and daylight savings time ends, it is time for colleges on the quarter system to suspend their conjungal visit from normal life and resume their 4 to 5, sometimes 6, year sentence. As you start the year I wanted to give you some tips to help you have a successful first quarter.


1. Ball on a budget while saving money: Do you have a passion for fashion? Do enjoy dressing to impress? Are you also low on cash? Don't bother spending lucrative dinero on the latest Gucci, Louis vutton, or Prada threads. Forever 21 has whatever you are looking for (men & women) when it comes to the latest styles, for a very cheap price. I bought a vest there for $20, whereas at Express they will run you a tab of about $88. Also another way to save money is to use your friend's internet, and when I say friends, I mean your neighbors. I can't really elaborate on how to because of obvious legal implications, but if you have wireless, you know!


2. The early bird catches the worm: Tired of spending $50 at the bar (males & ugly females)? Well club promoters usually have specials before midnight giving away free drinks or mixed drinks for a very low special: $3, but you have to get there early....!!!


3.Make love & good grades....at the same time!: Tired of missing out on all the night you won't remember? Are you also tired of failing two classes a quarter? I have the solution to these problems....simultaneously! During this first week of school examine all your classmates. If you see anyone who is appealing to you, spark a conversation and if you have similar interests, get their contact information. When you all meet up to study in the library, also discuss weekend plans. When you wake up next to them on Sunday morning, get back to studying....so if you fail, your relationship fails,which means...no tail. Simple arithmetic.


Have a good week. Until next time...Find your swank. Think insane. Be Urbane.

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